Sometimes service is in the "thank you"

All to often, we, or at least I associate service with a big or noble act.  However, I'm now wondering if service is any time we do for others.  Can this be as simple as communication?  All to often, in our crazy busy world today, we think the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Often, communication is negative in nature.  Can we flip that and even go so far as to consider it a small, but important form of service?

Recently, I took some time to thank a few parents for sending me such wonderful kids to work with.  It felt so good to write them and send thanks, something we rarely take the time to do.  I received a few thank you comments back and it was a wonderful way to end another great year.  

I think that every time we take a moment to share something positive or to send a thank you, that is a small form of service and is ALWAYS worth it.

Sometimes service is just part of what you do, big or small...

I was reminded yesterday, that service is not always grand nor does it require travel to far away and less fortunate places.  My 8th grade students had their semi-formal last night as they graduate from middle school on Monday.  Parents, teachers, and students volunteered their time to chose a theme and decorate for the big night.  Parents volunteered to provide beverages and baked goods.  Teachers gave up a Friday night and volunteered their time to supervise so the dance could happen...and it was all worth it.  At 7:00 parents, friends and family gathered outside the school on a gorgeous night to take photos while the kids were all dressed up and at 7:30 the official festivities began as the doors were opened, parents were sent away, and kids got to celebrate their last middle school dance, a monumental coming of age tradition.  The music changed, ebbed and flowed, but the emotions remained complex and unchanged.  Joy mixed with sadness.  The opening and closing of doors.  Opportunity and inspiration.  Excitement and fear.  But the fun never stopped...they danced all night long, forming memories that will last a lifetime.

Service doesn't always have to be work...

Sometimes service is just fun and exciting.  My wife and I are traveling to Fiji this summer to reward ourselves for surviving this masters program, and hey, it was so expensive, we got the tickets in the miles we earned paying for it.  So, Fiji, here we come, assuming we finish this debate.  While we are there, we booked a live-aboard diving trip.  This trip includes a day of service at a local community.  I'm sure we will give back and help in many ways, but I'm pretty sure it will feel like pure fun and excitement.  I have a feeling we may get more out of it than the community.  

Service learning: High School Trip to Peru

So, I began this blog by talking about how I got called up to chaperone the High School Service Learning Trip to Peru at the last minute.  This last minute change shows me that sometimes things really do happen for a reason.


The trip had us tour Lima, Cuzco, Machu Picchu and more.  Then we got to the good stuff, not that the other part wasn't good, but this was BETTER!  The service.


Day 1:  We arrived in Umasbamba, a small community nestled in the Andes at 11,000ft.  This community was very rural and needed help in a myriad of ways. We were greeted by the community with traditional instruments, flowers, and what was a rural parade of joy, welcoming, and love.  It was breathtaking.  

We spent the morning helping the community to harvest potatoes.  We even had fun while working by engaging in the traditional "papa" fighting in the fields. 

After lunch, we went with the women where we learned how to weave.  After our lesson, we got to help them spin wool, dye it, and then helped them work on their textiles. 

Their patience, generosity, and spirit was inspirational on so many levels.


Half of us cried saying good-bye, and this was only day one, we knew we would be back tomorrow!

Thankless service

The way I see it there are three kinds of service.  The service where you want to give and people need something, so it's a great "experience" regardless of how big or small the act itself.  Everybody wins.  You have some extra serotonin floating around and those you helped are better in some way in part because of something you did.  That just feels good.

Then, there is the service where it's not something you want to do per se, but it's not a big deal  and you are genuinely not bothered to help out.  You go out of your way, but it really helps a friend- like helping someone paint a new apartment.  Not your first choice of how to spend a Saturday, but you help out, bond with your friend who you never see enough because life is too busy, and the house looks great!

  
Lastly, there's thankless service.  You know, thankless service is the stuff you do because you "want to" or that's what you "want" and you want others to think you would do.  However, these acts are truly selfless in that you are just giving, and are the epitome of getting nothing positive in return.  Not even a thanks. 


Thankless service is sometimes the toughest kind and the grandest act - as it is truly selfless.

Plan, be a part of the big wave of change...

      

So, my service learning and experiences ebbed and flowed as I continued along my journey into adulthood.  During college, I mostly began my professional service career by getting my undergrad in psychology and working with the domestic violence and sexual assault victims at a safe house and a crisis line.

      

 After graduation, I moved and continued my work in the public service field as I continued to work with battered women and people suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction.

       The summer of 2005, shortly after the major tsunami which took out Sri Lanka and Banda Aceh, Indonesia, I went with my mother to do relief work in Banda Ache and help rebuild a school there.  

3 Minute clip of the Tsunami: December, 2004 

This boat was I kilometer from shore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USnTrgaPlNY 

We brought school supplies and met the children of the local school which the Medfield Middle School system had partnered with, thanks to my Mom, Margaret Mongiello, and her great heart and inspiring dedication.

We met a wonderful staff and partnered with Plan International, to help bring joy and supplies to people who had just lost everything.  It was rewarding and devastating at the same time.  Thanks Mom, for raising me to the be the person that I am and teaching me to value service.  I clearly got it from you, and wouldn't trade this quality for anything in the world. 

 

 

 

Semi-Permanente?

I had such an incredible experience that summer I had to go back.  It was a no brainer to spend the following summer participating with Amigos de Las Americas again. I quickly feel in love with my new host family in a rural village of the Dominican Republic.  The place was beautiful, the lifestyle simple, the heart big and the work hard. The house I was living in was a small modest house with four rooms. Two bedrooms, the kitchen, and the dining room/kitchen.  One bedroom for for the 3 kids and the other for the parents. When my partner and I arrived, they gave us one of the two bedrooms so we could have some privacy.  For two months, two parents and three kids shared one small room without even thinking twice.  

Generosity.  Generosity that I couldn't even fathom existed before meeting these people.  These people really did have "nothing", but they were the kindest, most generous, and loving people I had ever meet.  

Not before long we were so close to the family we had the kids room with us and had slumber parties.  One of my favorite moments, an unexpected perk between the community service building, 

water purification and latrine building projects, was my "sisters" birthday.

 Our "Dad" had gone into "town" to trade the cows and buy some supplies for the town.  He came back with a box of purple hair dye as a present.  Sure.  I was in.  No big deal, right?  I was supposed to live like the locals right?  That was part of the program appeal?!?

When no one was looking, I quickly grabbed for the box and began to scan the Spanish.  This was my second summer, but I still did not know that much Spanish...quimicos (that can't be good), morado (not helpful-the photo told me it was purple)....lots of words I couldn't' recognize, then the brass ring... it made sense... The words I read were semi-permanente.  I breathed an immediate and lightening sigh of relief.  No big deal, I thought. 24 washouts. Mom and Dad won't even know. Sign me up.  I'm in for a purple hair dying party.  Well.  What I didn't think about at the time was that I didn't have access to a shower or shampoo, and...there is a major difference in concept of time in the rural areas of Central and South America.  

Needless to say, Mom and Dad did find out.  Semi-permanente in the Dominican Republic isn't semi-permanente at all. I had purple hair for a year. I got called a witch in the Maimi airport by a little girl.  "Look, mama, it's a witch...a real witch!!!" I had to go on all my college interviews with purple hair.  Turned out to be a good thing as it was the perfect segue into the community service work that I had done the past two summers.  With purple hair, lots of service, and a dream I got into the school of my choice early admissions.

Guess which one I am...One year!

Sometimes service can be small...

So today I'm taking a momentary pause from grand acts of service and reminding myself that sometimes the small acts of service are just as important.  Sometimes life has a way of slowing you down (without sending your to a far off land without your present reality) and reminding you that service can also be lending a hand or supporting others, especially when we feel like we don't have time or don't really want to.  Listening to a friend, encouraging someone who needs some extra attention, visiting family, being patient with others, taking care of someone who's sick, or helping someone move.  Any time we do something that we are not excited to do, but our actions result in making someone else happy, we are serving, sometimes in the best way :) 

One more summer...

       So, despite the flees and many GI issues, I could not resist.  The people were so amazing.  I had only known people who had so much, everything in fact, and never seen such a generosity that I saw from these people who in my mind had "nothing".  What I realized was that they did have something, they needed more, but they had something alright.  They had love, family, friends, a sense of community, heart, and determination, passion, dedication, and a generosity and tenacity that was unmatchable.  Don't get me wrong, this community still needs a lot of help, which is why Amigos was there in the first place, but boy was I ever so wrong to think that they had "nothing".  That was my "snuburbian" upbringing getting the best of me.  I was thinking things, partly because we had so many (shout out to my mom who is a dedicated Christmas Tree Shoppe lover) but also because our society in the states seemed to focus on the tangible. 


        I had an amazing summer.  I lived, loved, suffered, formed friendships and opinions/ideas that will last forever.  But, that just wet my appetite, like a good appetizer does.  So, my journey continued.  The moment I got home I re-enrolled with Amigos and decided to head to the Dominican Republic the following summer for eight more weeks.  


        Boy was every box of fruit sold worth the trouble!

Living in a barn, with the pigs...

So, at 16 years old, the summer after my sophomore year in High School my eyes were opened and my world began to change. I spent this summer in Michoacán, Mexico participating in the Amigos De Las Americas Program.

http://www.amigoslink.org/

Like I said, I grew up in an affluent "snuburb" and never wanted for anything.  I had great parents and an overall "perfect" life.  But something was missing.  There was a hole.

Participating in the program was the first moment that the hole began to shrink.  I spent the summer in a very rural community with no running water nor electricity, living in this great families barn.  I was paired up with two other Americans, whom I did not know, and we were charged with motivating the community to improve their hygiene and public sanitation through latrine building and water purification.  It was incredible and life changing.

When the summer began, I knew no more Spanish than hola, gracias, por favor, and baño (which was not a useful word seeing as there weren't any!).  This family embraced us and loved us as if we were there own kids, their own flesh and blood.  They had "nothing" compared to us and shared more than I had ever seen.  It rocked my world and changed my view of myself and the world.  That summer I fell in love with the Spanish language, realizing that it was not a textbook, but rather amazing people, a lively culture, and an opportunity to see the world while changing myself and others.

Hace Quince Años...

Fifteen years ago my service learning began as did my personal transformation. I was lost, lonely, confused, and wanted to know why.  What was the point?  What was life for?  How could I possibly have so much, everything, more than everything, but still not be happy?  How was everyone else happier than me?  


I never really liked Spanish in school.  In fact, I remember begging and trying my powers of persuasion on both parents to get them to let me drop the class.  You know, if the first says no, go to the second one, that sort of thing.  Luckily, they both stood their ground.


I distinctly remember, being 16 years old, a sophomore in high school, and a cool teacher and college student coming to talk about this Amigos program.  She was so strong, confident, mature, funny, happy.  This college student appeared to be who I had wanted to be all these years.  So, like any other 16 year-old I went home and asked my mom to sign a form.  About 4 months later, I asked her to drive me to boston form my first official Amigos De Las Americas training.  She responds, "Why are we going to Boston?"
Aghast, I replied, "Don't you remember, I'm going to live in a barn in Mexico for the summer, you singed the form?!?" 


And so the journey began...

By accident, coincidence, or fate, I recently got called up at the last minute to chaperone the High School Service Learning trip to Peru.  At first I was sure it was just a happy accident, but now I'm sure there is a reason I was asked to lead the trip, when the original chaperone got sick.


The trip was fabulous.  The kids were great, the ruins still breathtaking, and culture and cuisine divine.  

The two days of service ignited a fire inside me that has remained dormant for years.  This trip and the local Peruvians lit my fire, and I'm hoping this blog will help spread that flame.